argh! the thought of thinking for the future really HAUNTS me once in a while... and..it hurts!
you know... actually deep down inside im sure what i want....what i want to achieve...what are my goals BUT the problem lies on..."HOW TO GET THERE?" how to take the first step.....
i'm like a babyyy who just learnt how to walk...
especially when my journey isn't ME walking it alone.. it's that "someone" that make me think twice. think HARDER. eventually i cant just think of myself...i gotta think of the other parties..and make sure i dnt make the wrong decisions that will ended up hurting others.
YEAH!..am i wrong?.. do u think a thought of "considering others before myself" is wrong?
CRAZY,
i have a bunch of unEG2 to vomit it out...but HOW?
i've been actively blogging...don't u think so??..hahaha.. i just feel that there are a lot of things to blog about...life have become much much much interesting than before..=)
eniwei..i was reading my '3 years ago" blog archives.. it was all about Anton..=).. and how i try to 'share" my secret love in a secret wayyyy yes, back than..there were no intentions for us to tell people that we are lovers. hahahaha.....
basically, three years ago, we stupid silly young people thought...our feeling were not suppose to continue....because we are different in a lot of ways...haha
i tot it was silly how we done it....
but oh well..now that time has past...what else brought us here..other that fate...
even though..we don't know how the future outcome will be...but i am satisfied that we can make it this far...
and believe it or not....my love for him has not dieee.....it's indeed even stronger,,=)))
1 detik pun nggk pernah pudar..=)))
IF...he is my husband in the future...i hope HE WILL BE.....then, i will tell this story to myyy child, grandchild..HAHAHHAHAHA
i havent had thiss kinda sweet escapee for ages..till i forgot what it feels to have friend...=)..
so i had fun...
but then..i realised that:
1. noone stole my microphone 2. noone stole my glass 3. noone ate my left overss food 4. noone would drink my leftovers zhen zu nai cha 5. noone would sit quietly with a smile on his face..just listen to me Gossips...and silly jokesss..
a lott moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
i had fun with friends...but i still miss ANTON.=)
for me...friends, families and boyfriend occupy different parts in my hearts
i was thinking alot of things...for our relationship..=) and i remembered...
...few years back..my mum used to tell me...that love itself is not enough!.. ..it's not enough...even if you love him, he loves you.
there must be MONEY in between too.
so u see why a lot of "used to be happy"married couples finally divorced. they quarreled...and one of the problems surely is MONEY. even if life was blissful..but when there is no money in the house and we can't pay our bills, etc.....wouldnt we get so stressedddd?...
YET, we shouldn't be CRAZY for money...and worship them as our GOD..
there is a saying..which i'm sure most of u have heard it..
" Money is not everything, but everything needs money"
TRUE,...
i was thinking...
when we get married..we will need to pay our expenses..such as, bills, kids expenses... or..car loan, house loan..in indonesia, car is a necessary transporttttt....and HOUSE???....who doesn't wnna have their own house...except if u want to rent for the rest of ur life!...hah!...
for me, NO!..i don't wanna RENT for the rest of my life..but i want to BUY ONE!...
so see...getting married it's not that easyyyyy~~~ =(
....HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND....=)))
he is old..haha..in fact, we are old..
this once a year celebration is quite scary, isnt it?
SIGH...
next year me will turn 22 as well aaaaaaaaaa..=/
and i only have half a year to think about the future, isnt it scary?..
the time goes tick tock tick tock so FASTTT...i cant even thinkkk!!..
what will happen in a half year??
** find a business.....what to open?.... at uni, they taught as "entrepreneurs are critical thinker"..so that means...i have to find something that can earn me money,....not just randomly doing business without calculating its risk!..
** me and ndutiess will b seperated....cos' we came from different cities..so for the time being...we will be separated...and HOPEFULLY reunited SOON. problems?...u know rite..we, human tends to adapt to our environment..surroundings ....so what happen when we are separated for long?.. we might have different point of views...and may cause quarellingggg!!!...THATS the NEGATIVE SIDE OF LDR...or mybe......maybe....there are lots off thingsssssss....lalalala...
**so...when we have earned our money..i hope we can get married asap lahh!!!...so don't have to LDR....>.<...i hate it..for the thought not being togetherrr..and can't see himm everydayyyy..GRRR!!!..
so..this is life...AFTER UNIVERSITY!...
for those who havent graduate...u should GIVE THANKS..and ENJOY..
uni may have exams, tests, reports, assignments that annoy usss..make us cant sleep well at nights..but hey!..that's the fun of it...because once you've graduated there are someting SPOOKIER to come........
i hate this! i hate this!.....
i dont even dare to think about it!...
but mybe everybody around my age are experiencing the same thing?....i hope soooo..
i dont wanna be the one experiencing itt ON EARTH!..hahaha
i wonderr if people are taking it as serious as i am!...i am definitely a crucial thinker..and my JOB IS..to think everytime!...HAHAH!!!
dear bloggie, dear reader...im sorry for taking you as RUBBISH BIN!..hahahaa.
hey hey hey...as i said..blogspot is my besfriend! that's whyy alot of pppl enjoyyyyy blogginggg....=)))
eniwei busway...i ammm sooooo stresssedddddddddddddddddddd....ahh i havent saidd that word in a long time!!..
1. as a grown upp woman.i found that myy facee, bodyy is nt satifying....( i knoe i shouldnt complained, but who can help mee ??)... currently looking in the mirror, taking photos arent my hobbies anymoreeeee...=((.. i used to lovedddd CAMERA...and mirrorr...but u knowww....myy hairrr... I WISHH MY HAIRR COULD GROWN TWICE AS MUCH AS BEFORE..and if that happen...i will not complaint..(i promise)...=)))
everyday i look at myself in the mirror...im cryinggg insideee..begging..GOD...forgive me....i want my hair back...
2. i havee noo eyebrowww!!..why why why????...... everytime i want to go out...i always have to put my make up ON!... if nott..i would be like a PIZZA base withot TOPPINGS...
3. I want a good health. only few ppl know this...
soo..this current bodyy issuess..i just wanna get it through easilyy..
peoplee who know me....will know...im not that "pretty xiaojie genittt love over make ups" that kinda... i just want myself to look "presentable"....not over... basically, everytime i go out..i usually draw eyebrows...then..put a little bit eyeshadow...u barely can see it..
i hate make ups...it's not my hobby....if i have eyebrows...i will not draw oneee...
ahhh..so i said..i wont complained..but i did complained....
LIDAH MEMANK NGGAK BERTULANG..haha
but sometimes..we cant help ourself..can we...???
we might say...do not worry.....but inside our hearts...we are cryng .....
we can put on our masks...ON A SHOW...but not everytime u could put a mask to hide urself....when the show is done...we take off our masks...
and yeah...im thinking about my future as well..
those that said....im so relaxxxxx....didnt think about future...are totally wrong!...NO NO NO..BIG NO!!!!...
i think about it..and i cant find a decent solution...
title for this post would be..."DO NOT COMPLAINT!..GIVE THANKS! =)"
in life,,,there are always new LESSONS to learn...every second, every minute, every hour...every day...
in facts, everytime we blink our eyes...there are alwys something new! =)..
So..eniwei....i used to be younggg ( now still young too..lol), stupid, and i never get satisfied of what i've got. errr.....and for example; i used to have a THICK hair..and i hated it..
whyy?..why?...because thick hair hard to manage.....and they tookkk a long time to DRY!..goshhh..i used to hateeeee...like i have to straighted it to make it look "thin",
HA!..and nowww...here i am..cryinggg insideee and hopingg my hair will be as thick as beforeee~~~.....yeah..i don't know what happened..and out of sudden....my hair started falling off...it started likee~~..urm..approximately..half a year agoooo..=(..
so....i though..if i never complained for myy THICK hairr....then probably....i still havee my BEAUTIFUL hair noww...
it's only the "hair" story...there are lots...
back then..i said to one of my housemate..." i wanna visit australian hospital...it's cool....looks like a HOTEL.."...
and .........happened a long long long story......i actually did enter the hospital..not for visiting...but for a l "ear" vacuum thing...it wasted me quite big sum of money...
some said.....experiences are EXPENSIVE..=) i agree.
so since then...i kept telling myself.....
1.think before u speak.....because our tongue is just tooo powerful.. =) 2. do not complain... 3. give thanks
give thanks for what we have......give thanks to GOD for sending these people that actually surrounded me...and love me for who am i...
..and still...do not forget to pray!..=)..
our problems...worries...are not too far away.....it is just as near as a PRAYER..=)..
(alloww mee to share more....im still abitt....sadddd...confuseddd...)..
there are many things...that you cant tell human...
sometimes...these worries are just something that u do not want to share...
you just want to keep it yourself.....maybee even you tell ur frends, bf/gf, or parents....they wont be able to solve it..
you blogged?....fine....but blogspot.com wont give any solution..it is just a good "listener" in a way..
so....i wonder....maybe...just GOD...=)....
ah.....this is quite a long blog...=) share more later....=)
argh! the thought of thinking for the future really HAUNTS me once in a while... and..it hurts!
you know... actually deep down inside im sure what i want....what i want to achieve...what are my goals BUT the problem lies on..."HOW TO GET THERE?" how to take the first step.....
i'm like a babyyy who just learnt how to walk...
especially when my journey isn't ME walking it alone.. it's that "someone" that make me think twice. think HARDER. eventually i cant just think of myself...i gotta think of the other parties..and make sure i dnt make the wrong decisions that will ended up hurting others.
YEAH!..am i wrong?.. do u think a thought of "considering others before myself" is wrong?
CRAZY,
i have a bunch of unEG2 to vomit it out...but HOW?
i've been actively blogging...don't u think so??..hahaha.. i just feel that there are a lot of things to blog about...life have become much much much interesting than before..=)
eniwei..i was reading my '3 years ago" blog archives.. it was all about Anton..=).. and how i try to 'share" my secret love in a secret wayyyy yes, back than..there were no intentions for us to tell people that we are lovers. hahahaha.....
basically, three years ago, we stupid silly young people thought...our feeling were not suppose to continue....because we are different in a lot of ways...haha
i tot it was silly how we done it....
but oh well..now that time has past...what else brought us here..other that fate...
even though..we don't know how the future outcome will be...but i am satisfied that we can make it this far...
and believe it or not....my love for him has not dieee.....it's indeed even stronger,,=)))
1 detik pun nggk pernah pudar..=)))
IF...he is my husband in the future...i hope HE WILL BE.....then, i will tell this story to myyy child, grandchild..HAHAHHAHAHA
i havent had thiss kinda sweet escapee for ages..till i forgot what it feels to have friend...=)..
so i had fun...
but then..i realised that:
1. noone stole my microphone 2. noone stole my glass 3. noone ate my left overss food 4. noone would drink my leftovers zhen zu nai cha 5. noone would sit quietly with a smile on his face..just listen to me Gossips...and silly jokesss..
a lott moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
i had fun with friends...but i still miss ANTON.=)
for me...friends, families and boyfriend occupy different parts in my hearts
i was thinking alot of things...for our relationship..=) and i remembered...
...few years back..my mum used to tell me...that love itself is not enough!.. ..it's not enough...even if you love him, he loves you.
there must be MONEY in between too.
so u see why a lot of "used to be happy"married couples finally divorced. they quarreled...and one of the problems surely is MONEY. even if life was blissful..but when there is no money in the house and we can't pay our bills, etc.....wouldnt we get so stressedddd?...
YET, we shouldn't be CRAZY for money...and worship them as our GOD..
there is a saying..which i'm sure most of u have heard it..
" Money is not everything, but everything needs money"
TRUE,...
i was thinking...
when we get married..we will need to pay our expenses..such as, bills, kids expenses... or..car loan, house loan..in indonesia, car is a necessary transporttttt....and HOUSE???....who doesn't wnna have their own house...except if u want to rent for the rest of ur life!...hah!...
for me, NO!..i don't wanna RENT for the rest of my life..but i want to BUY ONE!...
so see...getting married it's not that easyyyyy~~~ =(
....HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND....=)))
he is old..haha..in fact, we are old..
this once a year celebration is quite scary, isnt it?
SIGH...
next year me will turn 22 as well aaaaaaaaaa..=/
and i only have half a year to think about the future, isnt it scary?..
the time goes tick tock tick tock so FASTTT...i cant even thinkkk!!..
what will happen in a half year??
** find a business.....what to open?.... at uni, they taught as "entrepreneurs are critical thinker"..so that means...i have to find something that can earn me money,....not just randomly doing business without calculating its risk!..
** me and ndutiess will b seperated....cos' we came from different cities..so for the time being...we will be separated...and HOPEFULLY reunited SOON. problems?...u know rite..we, human tends to adapt to our environment..surroundings ....so what happen when we are separated for long?.. we might have different point of views...and may cause quarellingggg!!!...THATS the NEGATIVE SIDE OF LDR...or mybe......maybe....there are lots off thingsssssss....lalalala...
**so...when we have earned our money..i hope we can get married asap lahh!!!...so don't have to LDR....>.<...i hate it..for the thought not being togetherrr..and can't see himm everydayyyy..GRRR!!!..
so..this is life...AFTER UNIVERSITY!...
for those who havent graduate...u should GIVE THANKS..and ENJOY..
uni may have exams, tests, reports, assignments that annoy usss..make us cant sleep well at nights..but hey!..that's the fun of it...because once you've graduated there are someting SPOOKIER to come........
i hate this! i hate this!.....
i dont even dare to think about it!...
but mybe everybody around my age are experiencing the same thing?....i hope soooo..
i dont wanna be the one experiencing itt ON EARTH!..hahaha
i wonderr if people are taking it as serious as i am!...i am definitely a crucial thinker..and my JOB IS..to think everytime!...HAHAH!!!
dear bloggie, dear reader...im sorry for taking you as RUBBISH BIN!..hahahaa.
hey hey hey...as i said..blogspot is my besfriend! that's whyy alot of pppl enjoyyyyy blogginggg....=)))
eniwei busway...i ammm sooooo stresssedddddddddddddddddddd....ahh i havent saidd that word in a long time!!..
1. as a grown upp woman.i found that myy facee, bodyy is nt satifying....( i knoe i shouldnt complained, but who can help mee ??)... currently looking in the mirror, taking photos arent my hobbies anymoreeeee...=((.. i used to lovedddd CAMERA...and mirrorr...but u knowww....myy hairrr... I WISHH MY HAIRR COULD GROWN TWICE AS MUCH AS BEFORE..and if that happen...i will not complaint..(i promise)...=)))
everyday i look at myself in the mirror...im cryinggg insideee..begging..GOD...forgive me....i want my hair back...
2. i havee noo eyebrowww!!..why why why????...... everytime i want to go out...i always have to put my make up ON!... if nott..i would be like a PIZZA base withot TOPPINGS...
3. I want a good health. only few ppl know this...
soo..this current bodyy issuess..i just wanna get it through easilyy..
peoplee who know me....will know...im not that "pretty xiaojie genittt love over make ups" that kinda... i just want myself to look "presentable"....not over... basically, everytime i go out..i usually draw eyebrows...then..put a little bit eyeshadow...u barely can see it..
i hate make ups...it's not my hobby....if i have eyebrows...i will not draw oneee...
ahhh..so i said..i wont complained..but i did complained....
LIDAH MEMANK NGGAK BERTULANG..haha
but sometimes..we cant help ourself..can we...???
we might say...do not worry.....but inside our hearts...we are cryng .....
we can put on our masks...ON A SHOW...but not everytime u could put a mask to hide urself....when the show is done...we take off our masks...
and yeah...im thinking about my future as well..
those that said....im so relaxxxxx....didnt think about future...are totally wrong!...NO NO NO..BIG NO!!!!...
i think about it..and i cant find a decent solution...
title for this post would be..."DO NOT COMPLAINT!..GIVE THANKS! =)"
in life,,,there are always new LESSONS to learn...every second, every minute, every hour...every day...
in facts, everytime we blink our eyes...there are alwys something new! =)..
So..eniwei....i used to be younggg ( now still young too..lol), stupid, and i never get satisfied of what i've got. errr.....and for example; i used to have a THICK hair..and i hated it..
whyy?..why?...because thick hair hard to manage.....and they tookkk a long time to DRY!..goshhh..i used to hateeeee...like i have to straighted it to make it look "thin",
HA!..and nowww...here i am..cryinggg insideee and hopingg my hair will be as thick as beforeee~~~.....yeah..i don't know what happened..and out of sudden....my hair started falling off...it started likee~~..urm..approximately..half a year agoooo..=(..
so....i though..if i never complained for myy THICK hairr....then probably....i still havee my BEAUTIFUL hair noww...
it's only the "hair" story...there are lots...
back then..i said to one of my housemate..." i wanna visit australian hospital...it's cool....looks like a HOTEL.."...
and .........happened a long long long story......i actually did enter the hospital..not for visiting...but for a l "ear" vacuum thing...it wasted me quite big sum of money...
some said.....experiences are EXPENSIVE..=) i agree.
so since then...i kept telling myself.....
1.think before u speak.....because our tongue is just tooo powerful.. =) 2. do not complain... 3. give thanks
give thanks for what we have......give thanks to GOD for sending these people that actually surrounded me...and love me for who am i...
..and still...do not forget to pray!..=)..
our problems...worries...are not too far away.....it is just as near as a PRAYER..=)..
(alloww mee to share more....im still abitt....sadddd...confuseddd...)..
there are many things...that you cant tell human...
sometimes...these worries are just something that u do not want to share...
you just want to keep it yourself.....maybee even you tell ur frends, bf/gf, or parents....they wont be able to solve it..
you blogged?....fine....but blogspot.com wont give any solution..it is just a good "listener" in a way..
so....i wonder....maybe...just GOD...=)....
ah.....this is quite a long blog...=) share more later....=)
